Eric’s Blue Reverie

Say that you want to read the Left Behind series, but you just don’t have time to work through all 14 (or 20, or whatever they’re up to now). Did you think that what it really needed was a heavy dose of Scientology?
Have you ever gone to a Michael Bay movie (Transformers, Armeggedon, you know, big on boom not so much on plot) and thought, ‘I wonder what the book would’ve been like…’
Do you like Dan Brown books but wish it was a bit more obvious what was factual basis for the fictional story and what was twisted manifestations of the the author’s imagination?

Well then. I’ve got just the books for you.

At Meg’s graduation Matt gave me a book he had read and thought I would enjoy. It was In His Image by James BeauSeigneur, the first book of The Christ Clone Trilogy.

No, seriously.

The premise is that when the scientific team took samples from the Shroud of Turin, they found skins cells that were still alive. Really. Yet instead of telli g the rest of the team the scientist took it home and used it to clone Jesus. Really. He then thought it proper to name the clone in the spirit of discovery and exploration so he named him Chris. As in Christopher Columbus, not Chris-t.

I’m really not making this up. Seriously.

Honest.

The subsequent events in the books, the Rapture, several World Wars, plagues, aliens, Armaggedon, giant killer Asteroids and even the occasional red herring take it so far off a cliff that not only does the base premise seem downright plausible but it goes so far off the edge of reason that even the lemmings turned back.

I loved it. I read all three. They were so bizarely absurd that I couldn’t put them down. No matter how bad they got I couldn’t put them down. Right now I’m thinking about seeing 2012 for a dose of reality.

Hyperbole aside, no, wait, that’s right in line with them. I did stick it out for the 14 book run of Left Behind (at least until the second coming which came maybe halfway through the last book, i was still teying to figure out how they stretched it that far when they started adding more books. I quit then. Seriously guys, it was a great 7 book series, know when to let it go) and I’ve gotta say this somehow got more death and destruction (it is the end of the world you know) into three books then LB did in 14. Yet it still managed to be just as overly drawn out in the final book. That, my friends, is skill.

I must admit there was one moment, one turn of a character arc that I did truly emotionally enjoy (I’ll leave it to you to find). But by the end I was so totally fed up with either side that even though I could clearly see where the author was pointing I just couldn’t bring myself ’round.

A totally enjoyable romp but total, complete trash. You should check it out.